Crying Over Spilled Milk

My kids are quick to claim everything that goes wrong as an accident.  Every spilled milk, broken object, flooded toilet, mark on the wall, gash in the wall, injuries inflicted on a sibling...always an accident.  We have explained to them that if they are doing something they should not be doing and a violation occurs, that is not an accident.  For example, if your milk spills because you are balancing it on one finger...not an accident.  If your milk spills while holding it nicely and the cup grazes the side of your plate as you are setting it down...accident. Just to be clear, one more example...if you are wrestling in a "no wrestling area" of the house and a lamp breaks...not an accident.  If the lamp breaks because you bump into it while dusting...accident.  I think most people would agree with me regarding the underlying factors of what makes an accident accidental.  I do not think people would see me as liberal, manipulating or looking to place blame in the examples given above.  I think Americans, as a whole, would agree with me up to this point.
Let me broaden my thinking a  bit to drunk driving.  I do not believe most people who drink and drive get behind the wheel and think "I'll go kill someone now".  I do believe, although unintentional, the deaths that occur as a result of drunk driving are the fault of the person who drinks and drives. I think they made a choice, got behind a wheel and there was a consequence for them and a loss that is irreparable.  At this point, I believe most people are still on board with me. 
I have been saddened by the shootings in Arizona.  Saddened...such a weak word.  Sickened.  Sickened by the shootings.  People were hurt and killed, including a child.  Who is to blame? Definitely the guy who did the shooting.  He is probably insane.  I believe the tea party movement is also at fault in this. What I am outraged about is conservative Americans who immediately  say, "The liberal media is going to blame the tea party for this". I am outraged at the tea party individuals who look around, pointing their finger at others, and question how any blame could fall on them.  If you balance a cup on one finger, the milk is probably going to spill.  If you preach hate, intolerance and create a map using gun sights to mark places not in alignment with you, some idiot is probably going to feel empowered to kill.  Do I think they intended to kill someone? No.  Do I think they got behind the wheel drunk? Yes. 
Immediately, following the shootings, my facebook news feed, news and radio were inundated with conservative individuals cursing the liberal media.  I am waiting to hear/read a  post/sentence simply stating how sad, how wrong or if anything we did/said played a part in this we are remorseful.  I have heard very little regret from tea party individuals...just a lot of justification.  Sickening.
When I was a teenager my dad taught me how to drive.  During one lesson, my dad said I needed to realize no car wreck was ever an accident.  I argued with him that no one would ever wreck a car on purpose.  My dad said no car wreck was ever an accident because, in hindsight, there is always something that could have been done to prevent it.  My dad went on to say that after an accident you could always look back and have done something different...driven more slowly, looked both ways, stopped at the yellow light.
In thinking about the shootings, I believe the same forethought is applicable. Maybe there was something that could have been done differently in this situation...don't use gun sights to mark adversaries, don't preach intolerance, don't incite violence (ie the Rand Paul/tea party rally where a college girl was assaulted by a middle aged man claiming allegiance to the tea party) .  Maybe this guy would have killed at some point. Maybe he was motivated by the rhetoric that he found camaraderie in.  Maybe, just to be safe, we should not balance a glass of milk on one finger.  Maybe we should speak with peace and respect.  Maybe nothing good comes out of teaching hate.  Maybe the tea party should look back and ask themselves what they could have done to not have contributed to this tragedy.  Would it have happened any way?  Who knows.  Were the gun sight map, language and message of the tea party factors? Of course.
Let me go back to my children.  Whether something is accidental or not does not change the fact they need to apologize, be more careful in the future, take responsibility and move forward better than they were before.  I am not asking anything from the adults of the tea party than I would ask of my five year old.  I am asking for individuals, who perpetuated inappropriate literature and issued statements with inklings of intolerance, to simply communicate remorse.  I am asking those who took part in the rhetoric to learn from this and go forward differently than they have moved in the past.  I am asking that they use this time to reflect on the violence that has come from their movement, directly and indirectly, and alter their course.  I know I am now seen as a liberal trying to throw blame at the tea party by many.  The commonality we had at the beginning of this post has been constructed into a line that is divisive.  I want to put a voice to the fact we are not that different and our differences do not have to lead to violence and death. The milk is spilled regardless of intent.  Crying is in order.