Potpourri Post

The day before Kennedy was born was one of the longest days of my life. I knew I would be induced the next day if I did not go into labor before 8:00 the next morning. I knew this was the last day of my first pregnancy. I was no longer working. Everything was ready and the day that lay before me felt like the longest day of my life. My neighbor at the time gave me some good advice which I totally ignored. She already had two children. She said, "Shelby, this will be the last day you ever have like this...enjoy it." . What she was saying was that once you are a parent you are always a parent and it would be a long time, possibly never, before I would have an entire day to do whatever I wanted. I wasted the entire day waiting for tomorrow.

I have often looked back on that day and regretted wasting it. There are days I do not have time to go to the bathroom and I look back and wish for that day back. I have promised myself I would never do that to another day again. I would never wish a day away.

I can honestly say I have not wished for time to pass since that day. If anything, I have tried to slow time, to keep things where they are for longer than time permits. I have done that until this adoption process. Now I have not only wished days away but I have wished weeks and months away. I hate that I am doing that. It weighs on me a lot but I cannot stop doing it. Everything feels suspended until G and K come home. Making school plans, vacation plans, holiday plans or even dentist appointments comes back to "will they be here by then?". I have always been so grateful for our family and our children but now I feel that Lori, Kennedy and Ben are not getting all of me because I am obsessed with getting G&K home. I here the voice of my neighbor saying I will never have another day (or week or month) like this again and I should enjoy it. I know that our days of just the four of us are numbered and these days should be valued. I am trying to embrace this time while it lasts. I do not want to regret how I spent the last days before our family is complete.

The pictures at the beginning of the post are of things we have done over the last couple of months. I still have not figured out how to label the pictures despite Val's best effort. So in order they are as follows:

1) Kennedy bobbing for apples at our Fall Festival party.

2) Ben at a local farm.

3) Kennedy, Ben and our friend, Aidan, making a bean bag "samich".

4)Kennedy and Ben's 189,486th performance. He is her pawn.
5) Kipp ( Aidan's dad, pilot extaordinairre, general good guy) taking Kennedy flying.

Last but not least, K still does not have his passport. The agency director is in Liberia right now hopefully working on securing his passport and getting both children in front of the consular. One can always hope. On the bright side, many of the families that have been stuck in this process with us are getting their children. Seven children are returning with the director on the 29th of this month. DNA testing has been completed for 2 other families and their children could possibly be home before Christmas. Another family is leaving on the 27th to go pick up one of her children. Things are moving.