Tug of war

When I was little I always loved playing tug of war. During school field days, I loved when it was time to line up on different sides of a rope and pull with all my might. I loved the thrill as one team was about to be pulled past the center point. Just as victory was in the air, the team would rally and inch away from the center, forcing the other team to come closer to losing. I enjoyed the back and forth nature of the game. I liked thinking I was going to win and then having the other team gather strength and reverse my position from winning to losing. It was fun. The unpredictability was exciting.

I realize now I am old. I much prefer the steady consistency of moving in one direction. I do not find going back and forth exciting or fun. I like stability. I like routine. I like thinking I am going to win and then winning. Mostly, I like to be in control.

Adoption is the exact opposite of all the things I find comforting and more like the childhood game of tug of war. You think you are making progress and then you get yanked back. Victory is in the air. All of a sudden you are pushed back before you can even enjoy the happiness of the progress made. Worst of all is the fact that the whole process is completely out of my control. The rope is not even in my hands. It is mostly in the hands of the director of our agency and the consular in Monrovia. They are both pulling, trying to out muscle the other. The kids hang in the balance. Tug of war sucks.

All that to say, we are making progress. Things are moving after being stagnant for two months. The specifics are difficult to go into but I will say that we are holding our breath hoping the children will be home around Thanksgiving. With every step forward we are presented with a whole new set of barriers to overcome. Thankfully the problems have been getting resolved quickly. Slowly, slowly we are getting there. I just hope we do not get pulled back.