HOW DID WE GET HERE

In November of 2005 Lori and I endured a terrible miscarriage. The baby would have been our third child. It is a grief that is beyond words. Those of you who have experienced a miscarriage know the pain it brings. It throws your world totally upside down and you question everything.

But as I write this, I know if we had not miscarried we would not be where we are today. We are on the verge of bringing home two children that were ours the moment we saw them. Two children from Africa. G, age 6, and K, age 4. Two children who are the perfect completion to our family. It is a surreal experience to start a journey in one direction, end up in a totally different space and know it is exactly where you are supposed to be.

Several months after the miscarriage Lori casually mentioned international adoption. She is a thinker. She was merely thinking out loud. I overheard and I am a doer. I had always entertained the idea of international adoption and her voicing what had always been in my head was the green light I needed. By the time she came home I had the agency, country and social worker selected. I had a semi-financial plan and was ready to decorate rooms. She was shocked. She was unsure if she was ready to put action to an idea that was still developing in her mind. After some conversation (and wine) she was more excited than I was. Adoption was the answer to completing our family.

Originally we had chosen to adopt from Ethiopia. We wanted a baby/toddler. We were content to wait. We were waiting when we saw pictures of G and K that our agency sent out. Those were our children. There were a few issues that included adopting siblings as opposed to one child, they were older than a baby and they were from Liberia. So after more conversation ( and more wine) we knew that this is how our family would come together. Two moms, two pregnancies and two children from Africa. We are still looking for a Hallmark card that represents us. Growing up I never thought my family would come together like this but now I think "Of course...how could it be any other way". I am so grateful.